i guess i never thought about how i would feel when i grew up
i guess i always tried to doubt it
it never seemed to make much sense
i try not to dwell upon it
but i guess my time is spent
i try not to dwell upon it or how much it meant
like rain that falls from the sky
time seems to flood my life
like rain that falls from the sky
time seems to flood my eyes
i'll try and grab it and wrestle it to the ground
it's always out of reach
it's always lost and never found
i've only got one chance
will i ever have a second chance?
there goes today
what about tomorrow?
conformity, i'll never swallow
the world today full of pain and sorrow
apathy, i'll never follow
can we return to the golden age?
to the goals we set and the promises we made?
do you recall when we were friends?
just you and me to the very end
can we return to the golden age?
to the goals we set and the promises made
second chances!

so alicia came over tonight and i was bored as hell...
so said to my friend alicia "hey im bored! you wanna
drive to movie stop and ill buy dead like me and
we can watch it this weekend?"...
she looked oober excited so thats what we did.
so if any of you crazy folks are off and wanna watch
dead like me with us just let me know...

we need your support...!

silhouette in the darkness...
at night when my mind starts to drift...
the shadows start to move...
i see your silhouette in the darkness...
haunting me of a past i once knew...
a past i dont care for...
like a ghost you taunt me...
reminding me im better off...
im better off without you...
so there you go...
back to the darkness...
from were you came...
never to return...
im better off...
im better off without you...

go ahead and choke the life out...
drown yourself in what comes natural...
do it cause you like it...
do it cause it feels good...
cause pain is all you know...
pain is your best friend...
it never goes away...
it will never leave you...
you want it to stop...
you want to leave it behind...
but you cant...
cause it would be like killing your best friend...
so go ahead and take that last drink...
forget you woes...
and let your pain swallow you whole...


ps
this will be the last emo/depressing thing i write...
for a while...its time to move on...

i see you on top of the hill...
looking to the heavens...
searching...
looking...
waiting...
for the answers...
i yell to you...
i cry out to you...
but you cant hear me...
you cant see me...
i might as well be a speck in your eye...
i go unnoticed...
unwanted...
damaged...
thats what i am...
im damaged...
im broken...


i believe im damaged...
i believe that im wrong...
i believe my time ain't long...

rain drops...

as the rain drops hit my face feelings of apathy overwhelm me...
thoughts, memories, take me back to a time that i had long forgotten...
i can feel the depression setting in...
when did life get so awkward...so non-existent...
as the the wind blows and the smoke exhales from my lungs...
i know that i am alone...

losing sight

Where's my head
caught up in selling the drama
where am I
coloring the chameleon to fit in
lost my integrity to have a
social status
good cop bad cop
be all things to all people
a talker
a listener
not a conformist
I love you, I hate you
trying to save you
trying to hurt you
who am I
losing sight on why I live
(f.l.s.)

My Mirror No Longer

Choke on your forked tongue as you lie to me again
Say it's too early to show how we feel
just shove me away / but what can be said
to someone who can't hear
or comprehend your actions
I've lost faith in what I've been told / it's all a lie
I show true feelings always feeling the pain
Smash me to the ground a thousand times as before
But I can't rationalize anymore / carry me away
on concrete pillows incinerate me once more
Love means nothing to you anymore
blood stains on the wall with disfigured forms / end me

(ptw)

thoughts

is this life or is it a dream...
is it real...
or is it fake...
all the hurt....
all the pain ...
is life itself a dream...
and when were dreaming that is life...
the life where everything is perfect...
and the way its should be...
and when were awake were really dreaming...
and we are all enduring this hell we call life...

what is the purpose of dreams...
what is the purpose of life...
dreams gives us hope...
life gives us grief...